The Pheonix Rising. First the Pain, then the Rise

Starting off everyday, "My Commitment and Obsession is to make today better than Yesterday.

Things are not always as they seem!

When you spend the time painting the world with rosy pictures, is it no wonder that they don't see you.

With the quarantine having its effect on all of us. It affects everyone and everything. As much as we dont want to see it. The truth is that it is here.

Relationships, friendships, people in general seem so distant. When you are a mentor, they run to you for answers.

They run to you for emotions.

When the mentor is drained, then there is nothing that they can show you. When you give and give and never hear or get anything out of it. When the feeling of giving has no feeling.

You have to have feelings in order to feel. When I lost myself because I was too wrapped up in themselves. They may seem interested but the focus returns back to them. Why is that? Because I had no focus to return.

Why be afraid if I'm not alone? Life is never easy, the rest in unknown Up to now for me it's been hands against stone Each and every moment searching for what to believe

Coming out of the dark, I finally see the light now And it's shinning on me Coming out of the dark, I know the love that saved me Sharing with me!!

You try to be gentle about it. Small Hints! Letters! Everything you pull to be noticed.

All of a sudden that last ditch effort just left me in a ditch.

My goals, my dreams were no longer there because I avoided my success.

I put off my success. That success was going to come but I was not there to receive it.

The movement out of the ashes can not come without the fire. My healing myself started today. Focus on who I am. Focus on what I want.

WIth all that focus, I see that the same dreams, the same wants are still here but they are waiting on me.

The feeling of being alone was the universe saying, "Stop the Noise"!!!

When there is no happiness in me, how can I give it to others? I can't give what I don't have to give.

You have to be still and quiet to hear the noise. They can't take away my goals and dreams if there is nothing there to take. The only reason to be taken advantage of is that I gave them permission.

First the pain and then the rising!

Allowing my pain became my power. Instead of running away from my pain, I ran towards it.

I addressed it. All of this had to happen so I could reach the point to forgive myself. When I ran so fast away from my goals, from my dream, from me I became worn out.

I was exhausted. I was drained.

So busy being there for everyone that I had no time for myself.

Experiencing the pain because I let everyone down when in truth it was me that I let down.

When I reached the point to where I felt I could die.

Guess what? I did not die!!

When I tried to avoid my pain, my emotion I was missing the point of becoming who I was meant to become. When I asked the universe to show me my best self, this was the loyal universe given me what I asked for. Here I was a caterpillar stuck in a Cocoon and not ever leaving it to become a butterfly. I was denying my greatness that I asked for because I was running away from the answers.

The power of my pain is overcoming the struggles.

Moving forward in your life, toward your goals, your dream is overcoming the struggles to push thru to the answers.

If you want courage you have to have courage. If you want your friends to show up, you have to be a better friend to yourself.

When I asked my friends why they were missing in action either by my actions or just plainly asking them point blank. Everyone of their responses were "I Just did not know what to say"!!

We don't need friends to fix the pain, we need friends to be there with the struggles. Friendship, relationships, the real deal is just two people seeing the light together.

The struggle leads to the answer.

You run toward the people with the same struggle, with the same dreams and goals. Two people, two friends being present at the same time because you struggle and find the answers together.

Our collective struggles can be our collective power!!

The biggest reason that people are drawn to me. The reason that the successful, the driven, the talented, the stars are drawn to me. They see their struggles in me and our collective struggles and confiding in me is them finding their way out.

They see themselves in me. If I don't stay in my own struggle, then how am I going to help them out of their own pain?

"I need the struggle to find my own way out"!

"How can I lead if I don't know the path"?

This is how I rise from the ashes.

This is me being my best self.

There can be no glory for me unless I can lead you out of the pain.

This is my mission in this life. I need my goals, my struggles, my dreams before I can show you yours.

First the Fire, then the ash!!!

First the ash, then the rise of the Pheonix