Let's begin by saying that even though I have always wanted to perform on stage and had the larger than life hopes of entertaining.
It became different for me . I was not strong enough to take the critics and the judgements. I began my career in the backgrounds.....
Hair, make up, interior design.... But the reality of Film and Writing school made the dreams of that become even closer for me. Working on Studio Lots and the day to day energies that push you forward to the next thing.
The Next Step!!!
Then Life happens and in a second, your world starts falling apart and the very things that were your support are no longer there and the path in front becomes a decision that would change my life forever.
This is not a K Drama I am writing here. It is just me and my life. I chose to take care of the person that brought me into this world. She was always there for me. Thru everything we had to conquer. Always with the words "As Long as you are Happy".
That segment got me into another back door for the entertainment world. It started with Bartending and then management of all that and the staffing company I managed was involved with the Awards, Oscars, VMA's, Golden Globes, you name it.
I was there living large and in charge. Not only with the largest events in entertainment but the up close and person homes of the Icons. But all along still creating.
Still writing.
Still Dreaming.
Most important. Still Hoping!!
I have never given up Hope and I have never given up.
Being me is not easy. Not as amazing some days.
There are a lot of layers that I carry. But the upside is the great insight into people. The best up close and personal of the largest, talented and brightest in Hollywood. From the wannabes to the A Listers. I have been privy to the most intimate conversations. From Sad to Glad moments for them all. Thats been my own reward... The more talented, the more creative, the more brilliant as they appeared made me realize we were alike in so many ways. But of course being its the talented. They all have Three act portions to follow and the spotlight can be blinding
It is not a bad gig my Life!!
I took off from the blog to breathe. I needed to get my life back to some sort of well travelled patterns that work for me. I no longer have to be concerned if you are wearing a mask. I no longer needed to look at every person and wonder of that was going to be the reaper coming for me.
I know.
A little dramatic, but in case you have not noticed. I am an actor on my own stage. It is up to me if there are more than one happy endings.
It is up to me save me. I came to realize the only one that can save me is me.
The only lottery I will win is the one I make happen for me.
I am my own lottery. Its up to me how big it is going to be.
Instead of waiting for the happy ending, I am living it every day. There are so many pieces to put into place. So many say that they want to have things be the way they were before the Universe took a breathe but, I disagree.
I want them to be better!!
There is a recurring thing that happens every time you get something you want. You always want more. And that is OK. At least for me.
It means you are alive. Not becoming stranded on your own island. It really does take a village. Well in my case, it takes a Universe.
I am happy for the ones that are still here and able to read my blog. The ones that are no longer with us. You can read it too. I am sure my Mom reads it to everyone she encounters in the next dimension. You know with my Moms passing, there was a lot of sadness. But even though I never have a day I go by that I still miss her. They have become happy times of remembrance and the knowing that her presence is always with me.
Each thing that happens to us every day is our own personal moment. I am grateful that I know how to express them with all of you. I have the gift of sensitivity.
Sensitive to people, movement, energy and the universe. I have had people thru the years tell me they were too sensitive. Get rid of that feeling. It is just you getting used to the power you carry. It is a larger than life gift. Some have more than others. As for me.
The Gift I have is me. It is the gift I don't ever want to return!!!
Thanks for reading my Blog. I have so many new adventures happening this year for me. I asked for all of them.
Be Happy. Please!! Rand Angel for Live Live Live.
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