What is Love to me? It's not something you can just pinpoint and label. It is not something that you can put away in a drawer somewhere and forget it. You can get into all kinds and forms and try to dissect each and every aspect. From self love to love for others or falling into love.
A little music to set the tone if you please....
So let's clear the air here and if I may borrow from a Streisand movie. It just seemed to move the lever forward and needs to be said For all the loves I have loved and the men that stuck with it. Here goes!! l apologize. l settled for something that l really didn't want. l thought l could live with that. But l lied, to myself and to you. To be honest, l think when I talked to you about relationships. it was and is bullshit. l really believe in love, lust, sex and romance, and not in a perfect equation. l want all the mess and chaos. l want someone to go crazy for me. l want the passion and the heat and my god the sweat. Let there be madness! Valentines and cupids! l want it all, and l want to thank you, - I want to thank all of you. - because you forced me to look at things l was too scared to look at. lmagine, all this time l kept up this ridiculous fantasy - That you, like all of you, would fall in love with me. lt was wrong of me. But l think ... or l know. Just let me finish. l feel ... Strongly about your beliefs. About what you have said. Fine. I am sorry l might have broken our unspoken agreement. You know the one where we agree to just be friends, but l fell in love with you. But it's finally all right now, because I am not in love with you any more. Which now makes me perfect for this, but now l don't want this relationship. l hope at some point we can pick up where we left off, as friends. Thank You. You're the first man or should I be even more forthcoming and say men who wanted to have me in their life, for any reason. As long as I did not go away. For all of you the line is "I don't want to lose you". If you know me, really know me then you know I never have regrets. This is foreign to me but, l apologize. l settled for something that l didn't want. l thought l could live with that. But l lied, to myself and to all of you. There it is my release from all of it. I can and have moved forward. Like every time I meet someone I tell them I do not want a relationship. I do not need a relationship to be labeled as happy. That part is true. But wanting one is something I always want.
I love the beginning of it all as you find out about each other as you slowly open up and test the moments. You know the ones where you say how you feel and think about things only to find they are on the same page. I want that to last forever. But that's just clearly not real. Plus like anything too much of anything not ever changing is not really living it all. So when I say I want the mess and the chaos of it all. That is really the best part. You get to figure it out and adapt. Always changing and hopefully always growing. The more battles you win the larger the conquest. That is what keeps me up at night. Surviving the battles. For me my loves have come in like a lion and left like one. I just can't settle for anything. We grow. We change. Sometimes together. Sometimes apart. For me I always know there is another one on the way. I just open myself up to it and there they are. I was waiting for them and they were waiting for me. As with anything there are no guarantees. But we really have more controls then we give ourselves credit for. Sure it is sad when things end. But things have to end to begin all over again. It is true at least for me. "When one door closes, another one opens". And after all that. Which is a lot I get to say "Yes, Happy Here". I am good. When I wanted to write this blog, I wanted to inspire people, to motivate them, to make a difference. "How can I inspire people, if I am not Inspiring"? Thank you for reading Live Live Live. It is my passion to create, to inspire and most importantly. Live Life fully. Rand Angel for Live Live Live Cheers. Lets dance out of here..... The Night is Young
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