Down to Me!!

There is something that keeps driving me back to these moments.

When I get so full of emotion. When I get so full of pain that it comes the time to release.

Release it all.

I can't be driven by my need to be noticed. My need to be heard.

This is not about just myself. This is something much larger. I have a voice inside me.

A channel to a better time. A better life.

Flowers in hand, waiting for me Every word in poetry Won't call me by name, only "baby" The more that you give, the less that I need

Everyone says I look happy When it feels right.....

It would be a shame to not share that with you. Or to even remember and share with myself.

You know you have those days that seem so right. You will have on the other side of that the days that have those times that just will not let you go forward.

This is when you have to fight for more.

You have to fight for yourself. Your largest battle is in yourself. And with that caveat, your largest win.

This time is not for resting.

Our struggles are real.

They are life pushing its way thru everything we touch. Thru everything we feel!

Everything we want!!

WIthout a life of struggles and constant pain there would be no stories to tell. There would be no chapters to grind through. You have to have he setbacks to see where you need to be headed. Without those moments you never get a clear path. The struggles tell you what you need to value most.

Sure there will be those incredible memories as well. Getting an award. The opening night of a actor or singer. The first time of love taking over your every moment. The first time you visit the ocean. There are hopefully an enormous amount of those very things that shape your life. And the somber moments of surviving the passing of a Mom, of a hero, of an angel.

Anyone can take the easy path. But the ones that keep trying to be on the road, that never give up. The destination is the glory. The larger the sacrifice the larger the reward.

So every day I ask myself, what are you doing here? What are you looking for? When I look for answers is when I get my message I need. Life is constant reminder of where I have been. Life is constant reminder of where I am going.

They go hand in hand.

The reasoning for this post would be all about recognizing who you really are as a person. What you really bring to the table. How you judge yourself is really up to you. Be careful in how you label yourself. Change I am not creative to I adapt to any situation. I create the best for myself. Those simple sentences yield so much because they attract more of the same.

As I have grown with the creation of this blog. The lessons of living life have come back at me to make sure that I would voice and carry them to anyone who would listen. To realize that there was a much larger voice coming through me that needed to be stated. That has to be told. It's one thing to think that you have had and will have so many huge moments but when you sit down and focus on them as you are staring at the page and just writing from the heart. It is a gift. A gift I gave myself.

These are the scars to your beautiful.....

And you don't have to change a thing

The world could change its heart

No scars to your beautiful

We're stars and we're beautiful

I have always been private with my own stories. Maybe a little ashamed because of the statements slammed on me from a father that did not have a clue of raising a gay, jewish son. In denial of my existence and denial of throwing me out of my home and away from my Mom. What he never understood was my eternal bond with a woman that had conquered so many things from the throws of the depression and the Holocaust. You see those stories with my own are what made me. They are my undeniable strength.

The Covid solitary confinement forced me to once again sort thru all of the things I have been thru in my own life. To pull the individual jars of those moments from the pantry shelf. Open them and let them go.

It is a great feeling to realize the strength you have and its power on the ones around us. Around me.

With those larger than life moments come a responsibility and the realization that I would not have been living those times if I could not handle them.

These are the beginnings of my best self. I am going to look for even bigger times and larger events. I am not naieve to think they will all be fantastic. But the largest lesson that I have carried from taking care of my Mom in her later years is the discovery of miracles. As I look for them, the more they show themselves to me. For that and that alone, I am full of light.

I try to share as much of that light I carry with everyone.

Just being me is intense!

I get that.

I would not have it any other way. Just being me is the easiest thing I can do. I no longer hide in my stories.

I live in my stories every day.

They are my world.

I continue to create them, dream them and live them more and more every day.

The craziness of that is I feel like I am just starting. it is great to be living as old soul. But being an old soul as a child and then having to wait for the old soul in me to catch up to it has been a roller coaster.

It takes a long time before you can grasp what is in this vessel that I carry every day.

What is important is I understand now. The rewards will come. The moments will linger as I learn every lesson from them.

So now that I released all. that to you. As you take the deep and long breaths with me. I want you to acknowledge your dreams.

Those very things that will not let you go. Those will all happen the larger they become. It is up to you to see them.

If you can't quite see them all coming together then ask to be shown.

Ask for the most detailed of the detailed. The closer you look at them, at yourself the larger the reality.

I will continue to write along with you as I keep living my own neverending story. It's what I want.

It is what I ask!!

Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding. Most of all thank you for reading. I am in hopes that I leave you with some seeds that I plant along the way in my writing. If you have been reading the posts for awhile. Those seeds as they grow will just blurt itself out as it sees the light. It is that very turning point in your life that has helped make my own life extremely worth it all.

Thanks for reading Live LIve Live. Until the next...... Cheers!

I am going to Keep Moving.....