The latest consistent questioning for me is would I DO things differently.
Easy!
Not a chance!
Each decision! Each choice!
They were all made by myself, on my own. Whether they were good or not so much does not matter. They are mine. I own them.
The lessons learned are the next steps to all the answers.
There was a friend that gave me so much support by saying "We live vicariously thru you". What an honor to have been given that my appearance to the outside world seems so much bigger than it really is at times.
This all circles back to giving gratitude to all the things I have. Not just material things, but the experiences I have lived. The personal goals that I have set for myself whether realized or not quite realized. It all comes down to a powerful thought that I always carry. Hope !
The feeling of hope and never giving up go hand in hand. There are times I feel like things are not moving fast enough when to the outside world it seems I am moving at a lightening speed.
It is important to realize who you really are and what you believe yourself to be at any given time. Any given moment. Without any of this mindset, you become overwhelmed. That leads to feeling less than you think you are at any given moment. When you allowed someone or something outside yourself make you feel lost. I call it the not today Satan moments. When I am laying around in bed and not doing the things I am capable of make me hit the snooze button way too many times, then I yell out "Not today Satan". When I try to tell myself the benefits of not cleaning my home, then I make myself do at least one thing that will pull me out of that and then all of a sudden it's all done. Satan lost another day and I won!
Whether this seems like a childless thought or something that would never happen to you. Sorry or rather not sorry to say but you are human.
Capable of procrastination. Capable of self doubt.
Capable of feeling less than you really are at any given moment.
It is so simple here. If you want change. You have to change.
Doing one thing differently every day starts to add up and then all of a sudden. Things start to come together. Things start to move forward. Suddenly you are out of the bed before the alarm goes off.
Make this actual statement here. Say it out loud. "From this day forward, I will not have one more bad day". Change the narrative to thanking or gratitude for all that you have. Even as simple as breathing. The ability to walk, to run. If you need help doing any of these things. Ask for Help!
I recently learned a very hard lesson that I brought on myself. I never ask for help from anyone. I am not saying that I became needy, but whenever I had tried everything I could think of then I first took a deep breath. Asked the universe or whatever you believe in to give me the tools or knowledge you need to get to the next step. I am lucky that I have the people in my life that are willing to help me. It's a two way street. They know that they can count on me as well. It's not always about money. It is about being there for them. About supporting them not just on the good days but the not so good days. Not giving up on them when everyone else wants you to just walk away. The ones that tell you to give up are not really helping because anyone that says that gave up on themselves a long long time ago.
We don't need thousands of people to love us.
It starts with yourself. It starts with you!
If you love yourself strongly enough then there will be others that want in on that action. We all want to be around a bright light.
A bright light that guides us. Like flies around a light bulb. If you are not bright enough in your own heart then the results are clear. If you have the days when the light is dim, then look for the ones that can make it bright again.
As simple as I can state it, there are the ones that will read these words. There are the ones that might think it is too simplistic. But truthfully love is love. We all look for it. Whether it is family, or a partner, a friend or just you. We all need that light.
Just like relationships are hard, so is self love. Probably the hardest of them all.
Ask yourself would you do the things that the other people have done to you?
Did you set out to make them miserable?
Unhappy?
I already know the answers. Always remember what you do to others will always return to you.
You want love, then give love.
You want happy then give happy. Your answers are all there.
After writing so many blog posts, there are times that can feel like they are the same as the last. There is a friend that uses the excuse that doing comedy is therapy for himself. When is reality it is him putting himself out there and making a difference to the ones that believe in him. Life sometimes make it seem so hard to just get to the next step. But, we have to just take the step.
One at a time.
At the end of the day that's what we doing. Just walking forward. Whether they are leaps, or huge runs, it does not matter.
So if you think no one loves you. I love you. That is a lot of love to contend with. It is a love with no judgement. A love with not any conditions. So it is time to stop riding the pity bus cause we can walk where we need to go instead.
The becoming part of my title is just that. I am becoming who I know I really am as a person. I am talented.
I am smart. I am an amazing beacon of light. That's what my Mom wanted and that is what I want. And that is simply beautiful.
Thanks for taking the journey with me as you read my thoughts and my belief in myself. There is enough for everyone.
Rand Angel for Live Live Live. Peace out!!
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