Every day I am challenged with a simple task of trying to make that day worthy of living to my best self. Always trying to present myself as someone of value to the people I come across whether its at the supermarket or as mentor to some of my close friends. Why so much effort?
When even the everyday person during this crisis is just trying to survive until the next day and the next.
If you want to be the answer, you have to ask the questions.
All I am wanting to do is create a thought process so that you can figure your own way out of whatever has blocked you from living your best life. Whatever has suspended your dreams of becoming the person you want to become. I start each day just being grateful that I am in a place that's comfortable.
Being grateful of breathing and being able to dream even more.
So, one of the things I struggle with the most is Trust. If you find yourself in a struggle with trust then you need to examine just how you trust yourself, your life and what exactly are you meant to do that is so special.
"I will never Trust anyone again".
The reasons I share these hard things with you, with my supporters, my tribe is "Trust cannot be built by the small gestures in your life or my life.
Trust is built in those very small moments.
When we trust someone we are braiding just like a hair braid those connections with someone.
They are all overlapping each other.
These moments consist of these elements.
Boundaries.
Those things that we require if we are going to trust. Such as showing up, being present in their life. Remembering the things that were so special of those relationships.
From there comes reliability. Can we depend on that person to do the things I do for them.
Remember they are not going to be exactly how I do things or they do things. But, you have to at least try,
Accountability means whatever you do or have done is you own it, if its not quite what the other person needed then simply apologize and make amends.
The next one is a big one. Being able to speak freely to that person and know what you say will stay between you and the person.. Not even one sentence to another person.
When I share that one thing that is not mine to share, then your trust in me is diminished.
A strange thing that happens when you have broken that bond.
You start sharing more things, not just about that person, but the others that you have talked with about private things. Before you know it you can't keep anything secret because you broke your own word.
It's like being good on a diet and cutting out really sweet desserts.
Suddenly you are walking down the frozen food section and you wheel up in front of Ice Cream.
"Just one pint will not hurt, but then the next time it becomes three and so on until you make the strong decision to stop.
Ok, the damage has been done.
Apologize to the person and then to yourself.
The person does'nt have to be even in front of you.
Eventually you will voice directly the same apology to the person but even if it does'nt come back up, the person will sense your trust apology moment.
That's what has to happen.
It will free you and also make you a better connection with the ones you care about.
The next part of the braiding is "Integrity".
The ability to choose courage over comfort.
Choosing the right way over the too easy way to accomplish something,
Then practicing my values, not just spewing them out to you like I write the words on a page but really standing behind what I say.
You can't be judgemental or angry. Such as for example you not being on time for things.
The judgement is on them.
That issue is theirs but my reaction is mine.
It can become really hard some days because we are better at helping than we are at asking for help.
You will think less of yourself for needing help and the one sometimes helping thinks less of the person than they are helping.
Its just an awkward balance.
Don't you want to be noticed by the person you are helping?
You just can't judge someone for needing help and you can't t judge yourself for asking for help.
The reason that we are talking about all of these stages and breaking it down is little by little either you or the other person is beginning to feel and say "I cannot trust our relationship anymore".
You have to let them know so they can understand.
If you don't invest the interest in them by letting them understand then you are not investing in yourself.
When you have those internal questions.
"Did I honor my own boundaries"?.
"Can I count on myself"?
Sometimes I wonder where I've been, Who I am, Do I fit in. Make believing in' is hard alone, Out here on my own. We're always proving' who we are, Always reaching' For that rising' star To guide me far And shine me home, Out here on my own.
"Am i judging them for the very things I do not judge myself for"?
The bottom line here is simple "If you cannot count on yourself, then you cannot ask other people to give you what you cannot give yourself.
I do not trust people that don't love themselves.
When they say those strong words "I Love You".
We can't ask people to to give us something that we dont believe they are worthy of receiving.
You will know you are worthy of receiving when you trust your own self.
You cannot make excuses,
If you want to remember someone or something, you cannot make the excuse "Well you know I never remember".
How can you remember that you forgot? You are busted.
You have to make the change happen or it is not going to magically happen.
If you don't then you are doomed to a lifetime of making excuses every time you remember you forgot.
When you apologize you bring back the focus on forgetting and one by one the trust starts to errode because you don't really believe what you are saying .
You are not accountable.
You have memorialized your less than you should be as person moment.
To change a constant issue that you have and you have already doomed yourself to a lifetime of forget because you say "i never remember that".
The answer is "just ask the universe"
" Universe change this for me. This is now on you "
If you trust the universe then it will trust you.
None of this is by accident.
This moment is for you.
There is no coincidence.
This moment is for you.
So you might ask yourself."Why do I care, why do they care".
Because i have had my own pain.
Because I know that this works.
All of the things that I say or tell you is simply this:
"This will not leave you bitter, this will leave you better". And that and all of this is my respect to myself and to you.
Thank you for reading my blog. I enjoy sharing my moments. My incredible life experiences. The reason they are so incredible. I asked for it. Cheers. We are all in this huge epic universe changing moment. Please stay safe, Please take care of the things that are important to you, of the people that are important. Remember one at a time. Thank You
When I was adding the music which I add after I have written, the songs have inspired me in some way. There is always intention in everything I do. I digress. When I used to work on the Paramount Lot in Hollywood, there would always be some movie or TV show being made. I heard this familiar tune and wandered over to New York street and Chicago street and ended up being in this film as part of the people that are dancing to the beat of "Fame: So here is a moment to share.