Learning to Breathe
Growing up in the South, being raised by a loving Jewish mother was what saved me in so many life battles. My father for the record was raised in an extremely dysfunctional environment.
“You mustn’t be taken in by the moonlight and magnolias" a line from "Midnight in the Garden of Evil" and an apt description of dad. My father with a British lineage, being from the south and a family with more skeletons in the closet that would fill years of any psychiatric studies were my surroundings. A house that was raised in fear of being itself. Afraid of standing up from different mind sets. Afraid of dealing with the homosexual son. With all that intro I am leading us to here. This weeks visit with Live-Live-Live is about choice, about change, about freedom and the decision to live them all.
In writing screenplays we are taught to jolt you in the beginning, to get your attention as a path into our story. To take you out of your world into ours. Well. consider yourself jolted!!!. Lets have some traveling music.
To jump ahead here, this is not a moment of sadness, but a moment of light. Being told by my father that I was trash and would probably die from AIDS was not the best advice I could have had growing up but then in order to get past the hate, you have to understand it is not you, it is him. If you buy into the fear, it can lead to attempted suicide(guilty) or it can change you. You have to decide you want something better. You have to decide you want to live. You have to choose the road sometimes less traveled.
Any one that has gotten to really know me or understand me has heard me say, "Even though I was raised in hell, there was always an angel to show me silver linings". My holocaust surviving Mom that showed me how to live and always see the beauty in the storms was my rock. Even though it was not at all easy, I would not change one second of it all. It made me who I am today!!!
My moms love for me carries me today.
It has been and still has its moments of greatness today.
My life lessons taught me and continues to teach me to this very moment that it is how you rise from darkness that will show you it's better day. Those days add up into years and happiness that is beyond description.
How you choose to rise!
How you learn to breathe!
Don't get so caught up in the choice and forget to enjoy the journey.
I chose a better path!
I asked for a bigger miracle!
I was shown a bigger light!
When you have seen the sides of darkness, you have to show others the way to see the light. The reason I was shown the light so clearly was because it knew I could lead others.
I have been given so many gifts and I love giving. If I can give you what I wanted to give you today, then I give the lesson of learning the breathe.... Live-Live-Live a blog by Rand Angel