"Be true to You". The best advice ever whispered in my ear from my iconic Mom. We had just finished moving her to Los Angeles. Mom would tend to blurt out something she wanted you to know right now, this very minute. Guilty of following that behavior hence the blog. You just got to tell someone. Valid, valuable sincere expressions all with the intent to make it just a little better for anyone that reads it, hears it or in my case lives it.
Lets go with a set the mood song. Hit it !
There is even more and more use of the term Authentic self being used daily. As we learn to break the barriers down and being to realize we all in this together and part of a very large picture. It takes courage on a daily bases to just come clean and stop denying what you are all about. Its easier to hide because you don't want to hear the opinions or even more the judgement of ourselves because we had to be who we really are or to be me.
"If you are 100 percent genuinely authentic and you truly know who you are, the story of where you are and whom you are talking to should not change the facts of who you are and what you stand for,"
A strong statement for sure but it pulls together everything.
"Whether you are talking with CEO's or food servers, Oscar-winning actors or Lyft/Huber drivers, millionaires or people who haven't got the concept of budgets, the owner, or the ones that clean the store, the same you show up in all situations.
Everyone is worth it," a common mantra for me.
A true leader recognizes everyone" and is his or her true self with everyone.
So how do we start. I decided to break it down and share what works best for me. My opinions, my views. All I can say as a disclaimer is that this has gotten me into so many amazing, glamorous, real life places and events. Do you know how many times I have been to the Golden Globes? 4 times, the Oscars 3, the VMA's, MTV events , premieres, huge Hollywood parties, Fashion week in Paris, Beverly Hills. Ok I know its a laundry list but sometimes you have be yourself, honestly and without judgement most of all and it is still opening doors every day.
Here are some examples of the who we are people that I have encountered or mentors:
Here goes.
Pay attention to people... The first step is simple but profound. "Notice people, in the street, at airport, the runway, in a supermarket, in your office complex, the mall" etc. .. and be nice.
Next step. Remember to live up to who you are and be as nice as you want people to be to you.
"Make eye contact; give a kind and thoughtful smile; say hello where appropriate; in shops and car washes, reataurants, ask staff how they are,"
If you start a conversation , really take a genuine interest in them.
"Ask questions about them and listen attentively to their answers without interrupting to add your take on what they are saying or 'Oh, that happened to me once. Wow! Really! Amazing etc.
Now, we get into their space and if you don't really talk to them and not at them we have not honored them.
A lot of time we might get nervous out of nerves or wanting to fit in, or we are simply unaware that we are doing it, but the other person will feel, depending on his or her character, either disrespected, irritated, angry, insignificant, or not valued."
Notice , How you feel around the powerful, the wealthy , actors, singers, Oprah for gods sake?
With people who have a higher status than you at work or in life that you come across, start to notice, do you ever get that 'I am less than them' feeling on your face?
I have found that sometimes just saying " Thanks for letting me speak to you. etc.. No selfies, etc.. They are hounded by everyone because someone wants what they got. They all worked hard and sacrificed to get to where they are in life. They sweat the big stuff like we do. You get it!!
"This is when you might change your face and try to not get that less-than face without realizing it," Words have power....Expressions have power>.
"The person you are talking to will no doubt sense it. They will help you if they are a genuine leader; if they are not, they could take advantage of you, or you could become a mark. People like to take advantage sometimes if we appear with that I will never get that in life face.
Next step and a game changer for me and for so many of people that I am around. We keep journals! It does not have to be an elaborate novel or dissertation . Keep it simple until you get the habit.
Don't beat yourself up it you forget to write about it. From my experiences, I use it to map out my thoughts, cuss out the person that cut me off in traffic or the unwanted comment about appearance, home etc...
"Have you noticed that you never ask for their opinion or advice?
On a positive thought is that they noticed you and you became a threat to whatever they are doing or saying. Sometime you have to give that blank stare forward like when you are in Hollywood and everyone stares because they think you are somebody in entertainment etc...
When you become true to you, you become your own brand. Please take the time to make it awesome.
So, include in the journal "dates and times of your situations, observations, behaviors (yours and others), feelings, emotions, actions (yours and others). If you remember all that then maybe Identify your own feelings about how it made you feel and patterns when you meet certain people. This might be where you struggle to maintain authenticity. Really by labeling, you start to shift more into who you are as a person.
After reading all this are you like?
"Oh wow, do I really have to do all that?" I will not remember. Ok! This is about you!!! FULL STOP!
If you want change, you have to change! Really very simple.
What all this dialogue and feelings are saying to you. As hard as it sometimes is to be true to you, be authentic! its easier for people to be themselves around you.
You will meet all kinds, everyone has a story. But you will meet the ones that get you, support you, do not judge you and accept you are you. Because it is easier to be who we are than someones idea of who you are. So Live-Live-Live.. Be true to you!!
So lets end with a song as always.....Cheers!